Saturday, November 17, 2007

Hey, You!

Yeah, you. You've been reading this blog now for a while. I've held up my end of the bargain, right? A new entry (at least) every day this month.

Well, it's time to pay your dues.

I've got a mock up of my new business card in front of me. This is for Starman's software business, which really is his business. (If you didn't know, he develops and maintains software products that help people construct and solve cryptic crossword puzzles.) I don't have a lot to do for the company, except occasionally handling customer concerns that aren't so technical that only Starman can deal with them. I don't do the books. I don't even wash the bottles. So, the question is:

What's my job title?

Here are some options: I can be a Vice President -- everyone knew until recently that vice presidents don't do anything important. (Based on the current occupants of the White House, Starman would be the "Vice President" and I would be the "President," but we 're looking for something that will work for us even past 2008.)

I can be "Customer Liaison" -- that's the closest we've come to my actual role. I can't be "Customer Service" because of all the technical stuff that I wouldn't be qualified to handle.

I had wanted "Simultaneous British- to American-English Translator," but Starman thinks that's too long for the space provided.

"Ombudsman" -- that's a possibility. It's the kind of word people have to look up -- which they could do using Starman's software. (To be fair, you wouldn't get a definition, although you would learn that you could clue it as "One who investigates complaints from crazy nomad bums.")

Well, I suppose I could just put "Crazy Nomad Bums" in the space for a job title. Then people would have to buy the software to find out what I did! (Starman could be Wild Dense Trip.)

But the one thing I know for sure -- one (or more) of you can come up with something better. So, help a poor blogger out! Submit a comment with your thoughts on my job title for this business card. I hope to get some new options, but at least opine on the best of my ideas here. And, by all means respond with votes for other reader's ideas. This is not an election I need to win!

After all, I already have a job. I just don't know what it is...


  1. I don't see "customer service" as suggesting tech support, so I think it's the most straightforward, if non-narrow-end, of the suggestions. Ombudsman, to me, suggests that the product is likely to have problems. You could be "Solver" and "Plotter", or maybe "Solver in Chief"....

  2. I have thought of another one -- "non-technical support."

  3. Customer Solutions Specialist
    Chief Support Officer
    Or just no title at all -- who needs one?

  4. Chief Weaver of Tales

    Perhaps not quite what you would be doing, but something you're good at anyway :-)